Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 11:45am) | Search for a member

cmac86

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20323
  • Number of comments : 1475
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:22am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:38pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:44pm<b>llalala</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:43am<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:21am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:22am<b>empsparks02</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:27am<b>CHUBBYninja</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:38pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:44pm<b>LordGrew</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:35pm<b>breaking6883</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:55pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:54pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:11pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Maka_Mayonaka</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:01am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:50pm<b>iRydePwnies</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:35pm

cmac86's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (279668)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

#208203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110087) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (41609)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

#205743
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70917) - you deserved it (2955)

On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71033) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7895) - you deserved it (86525)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72813) - you deserved it (15788)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12791) - you deserved it (49117)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML

#175270
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95118) - you deserved it (10291)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63018) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (334559) - you deserved it (28811)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155816) - you deserved it (13877)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
999 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71240) - you deserved it (743708)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1164277) - you deserved it (125727)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

#154058
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76104) - you deserved it (5008)

On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: