Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:49am) | Search for a member

cmac86

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23948
  • Number of comments : 1505
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:17am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:01pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:08am<b>hunterjumper88</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:56am<b>tehman117</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:13pm<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Ellie_Gee</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:32am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:56am<b>StinkyFishTaco</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:51pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:24pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:58pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:17pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:25am<b>KingJinx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:11am<b>justmenooneelse</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:16am<b>Tierrastokes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:26pm

Liked!<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

YESTERDAY, AT THE DINNER TABLE MY PARENT WERE TALKING TO MY YOUNGER SISTER ABOUT HER NEW BOYFRIEND AN HOW THEY SHOULD BE TAKING IT SLOW. MY SISTER THEN POINTD OUT THAT THAT'S NOT WAT I DO. MY DAD SAID, ( BELIEVE ME I KNOW- YUR SISTER'S EASIER TO GET INTO THAN COMMUNITY COLLEGE. ) FML

#305736
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66525) - you deserved it (28036)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I was on the subway . I have fairly serious OCD so I avoidd holding the poles or handles . All the seats were taken so I leand against a wall . At the next stop an obese sweaty man got on and grabbd the two poles around me effectively hugging me . My shirt was wethen he left . FML

#295794
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73821) - you deserved it (5495)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Taday I was on the subway . I have fairly serious OCD so I avoidd holding the poles or handles . All the seats were taken so I leand against a wall . At the next stop an obese sweaty man got on and grabbd the two poles around me effectively hugging me . My shirt was wethen he left . FML

#295794
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73821) - you deserved it (5495)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly wat u call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up an down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" an left. FML

#290842
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64268) - you deserved it (6864)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, Mah Cat Was In The Bathroom With Me. I Was Getting Undressd To Get Into The Shower. My Cat Lookd At Me After I'd Undressd And Then Threw Up All Over The Rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136184) - you deserved it (20311)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I decided to call mah wife while she was having a private lunch with mah parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through mah fantasy , she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (65717)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

2day I want to onlina to fina out why mah midtarm grada is for mah laast favorita class Psychology. Aftar waaks upon waaks of studying and doing work for a class I hata I found out that I hava a zaro in tha class. Turns out I'va baan going to tha wrong psychology class all samastar. fat FML

#271677
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36326) - you deserved it (59911)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by absentminded (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY , MY BROTHER'S NEW GIRLFRIEND,HO IS BLIND , ASKED TO FEEL MY FACE SO SHE COULD TELLHAT I LOOK LIKE. SHE SAID I WAS "UNIQUE". A BLIND CHICK JUST TOLD ME I WAS UGLY. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60426) - you deserved it (4933)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, The Cute Boy In Mah Biology Class I Had Been Crushing On Invitd Me Over To Study 4 A Huge Test. Once I Got To His House, I Really Had To Use The Bathroom. I Endd Ending Up Taking A Huge Dump An Clogging Up His Toilet. He Had To Come Plunge It 4 Me. FML

#261901
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70540) - you deserved it (21956)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled mah name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it an assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 an a graduate student, they're six an mentally challenged. Guess who was right? big fat FML

#260093
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (63340)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I callad off work saying my Graat Grandmothar diad. A co-workar taxtad ma latar asking whara an whan tha funaral was. I mada up a lia an said soma random funaral homa an data. My co-workar sant flowar to tha funaral homa 4 condolancas. Tha flowar wara raturnad. FML

#257281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6849) - you deserved it (86471)

On 03/09/2009 at 11:32pm - work - by Whatever01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I ad my wisdom teet pulled. Tere was a cyst biend one of tem , and te dentist decided to extract it - except te Novocaine didn't reac tat far back. I raised my and lyk tey said to do , and te dentist looked at me writing in pain and said , "No , your fine." big fat FML

#255362
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70143) - you deserved it (2891)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... my mom called an told me I got accepted to my frst-choice college. I got really excited an asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it... she said... ( Oops... uh... nevermind. ) FML

#252648
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70528) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I TRIED TO SURPRISE MAH PARENT BY COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE FOR SPRING BREAK. I ARRIVED TO FINE A DARK HOUSE, WITH ALL THE DOORS BOLTED SHUT. AFTER CALLING THEM, I FOUND OUT THAT THEY HAVE GONE ON A VACATION TO HAWAII FOR A WEEK. I AM NOW LOCKED OUT OF MAH OWN HOUSE, WITH NO WHERE TO STAY. FML

#249220
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (12180)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WENT TO MAH GUIDANCE COUNSELOR AND TOLD HER HOW I'D BEEN FASCINATED WITH SPACE SINCE I WAS 12, HAD READ ABOUT THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING, AND HOW I WANT TO BE AN ASTROLOGIST WHEN I GROW UP. SHE STARED AT ME FOR A SECOND, BEFORE SAYING, "BUT YOU'RE... STUPID." FML

#233372
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64703) - you deserved it (16288)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: