Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:49am) | Search for a member

cmac86

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23920
  • Number of comments : 1505
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:17am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:01pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:08am<b>hunterjumper88</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:56am<b>tehman117</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:13pm<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Ellie_Gee</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:32am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:56am<b>StinkyFishTaco</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:51pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:24pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:58pm<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:17pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:25am<b>KingJinx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:11am<b>justmenooneelse</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:16am<b>Tierrastokes</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:26pm

Liked!<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66891) - you deserved it (32123)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (63431)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (77306)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61796) - you deserved it (119915)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
897 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62508) - you deserved it (646290)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132860) - you deserved it (8131)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML

#492068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57312) - you deserved it (7882)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

#488336
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74509) - you deserved it (8545)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91393) - you deserved it (9403)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (54304)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82768) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82768) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: