Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

cmac86

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20886
  • Number of comments : 1479
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>Xobubblyxo</b> - 7 hours ago<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - yesterday at 4:50am<b>gkhalil98</b> - yesterday at 5:08pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:33am<b>thedoerofgood</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:55am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:14am<b>imapartypooper</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:39am<b>Briaangel12</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm<b>trevmi99</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 10:27pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:22am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:38pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:44pm<b>llalala</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:43am<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:21am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:22am<b>empsparks02</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:27am<b>CHUBBYninja</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:44pm

cmac86's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

#409888
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (90761)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by PinkTornado - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML

#404530
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44701) - you deserved it (27925)

On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72963) - you deserved it (16933)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

#357279
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76973) - you deserved it (5481)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by yanksbitethebig1 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (72971)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (508944) - you deserved it (35138)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (291119)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the hottest girl in the entire freshman class was telling her friend she was going to Florida for spring break. She said she would be in the same city I would and I couldnt help but say, "Oh, cool! Maybe I'll see you there!" She simply looked at me and said, "I hope not." FML

#328244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67450) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/14/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by evanescence (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (109751)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML

#315906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54030) - you deserved it (7025)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (63949)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13979) - you deserved it (126022)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66438) - you deserved it (26940)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73651) - you deserved it (5482)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73651) - you deserved it (5482)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: