Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 10:24am) | Search for a member

cmac86

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27706
  • Number of comments : 1522
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - yesterday at 2:14am<b>hplover32</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:53pm<b>mylifesucks7757</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:01pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:49am<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:31pm<b>addisonrose12</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:47am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55am<b>ariasmake1</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:51am<b>andrew130</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 3:17am<b>johnny29</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:33am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:49pm<b>theycallmevanny</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:25am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:30pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:21pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - yesterday at 8:14am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:22pm<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68060) - you deserved it (3310)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

#763376
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62147) - you deserved it (29796)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML

#755520
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (94764)

On 04/01/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Casino (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

#754316
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (52499)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75483) - you deserved it (3035)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

#738604
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67403) - you deserved it (8716)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:04am - love - by internetadvice (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89791) - you deserved it (4671)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

#697390
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67460) - you deserved it (4307)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84856) - you deserved it (174080)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (80724)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69847) - you deserved it (13622)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69847) - you deserved it (13622)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (142753)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: