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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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cmac86

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cmac86
  • Town/Country : Little Rock, Ar, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9710
  • Number of comments : 1230
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (859) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (2332) - you deserved it (654)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (3614) - you deserved it (634)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (1646) - you deserved it (6720)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (1206) - you deserved it (11148)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (5952) - you deserved it (346)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (7944) - you deserved it (392)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4821) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (1199) - you deserved it (8701)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (1940) - you deserved it (6734)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (483)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

#19007190 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (7233) - you deserved it (537)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:35am - love - by hudd357mag (man) - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7917) - you deserved it (1449)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

#18947150 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (7178) - you deserved it (493)

On 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm - work - by LowerCrust (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. I presented her with an oil painting of her that I'd been working on for over a month, and she started to cry. I thought it was because she liked it, until she asked if she really looks that ugly and disproportionate in real life. FML

#18943380 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (891)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)