clusterfungus

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clusterfungus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 January 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 871
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About clusterfungus : some fungis have all the luck

clusterfungus's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:26pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:20pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:58am<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:21pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 10/18/2010 at 7:53am<b>GiRDEELU</b> - the 05/25/2010 at 9:14pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 05/25/2010 at 2:15pm<b>kaytiebobaytie</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 1:34pm<b>hahaDevon</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 9:58pm<b>ha</b> - the 01/15/2010 at 2:57pm

clusterfungus's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

clusterfungus's favorite FMLs

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

by diesel444 / 08/23/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

by ew. / 08/17/2010 at 12:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

by BambooLove / 07/15/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

by scubai / 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

by bbbkingsey / 07/23/2009 at 3:10am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love