About clusterf00k129 : all boredom all the time
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clusterf00k129's favorite FMLs
by xharuki / 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Forgotten / 08/09/2010 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML
by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML
by pumpkinbutt / 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm / Miscellaneous
by BetterThanFake / 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML
by Snowzies / 01/06/2010 at 8:42am / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
by lloydLO / 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
by mobster / 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML
by krizleykrislo / 04/30/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by morg2000 / 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm / Mexico / Kids
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…