clojo1112

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clojo1112

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8235
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:06am<b>muhahahaa</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 7:14pm<b>keepmelikeanoath</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:49am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 7:33am<b>random2212</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:49am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:41am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:00pm<b>bre88</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:30pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:59pm<b>mad_mcdonald</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:13pm<b>sallysali9</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 5:06pm<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:30am<b>angelnursery</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:19am<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:02am<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:06pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:21am

Fucked!<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:26am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm

clojo1112's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

by RhuLynette / 08/31/2011 at 2:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

by WithoutLove / 08/30/2011 at 1:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

by InAnAwkwardSituation / 08/25/2011 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:03am / United States / Money

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love