clojo1112

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clojo1112

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7850
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's page activity

Visits<b>muhahahaa</b> - 9 hours ago<b>keepmelikeanoath</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:49am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 7:33am<b>random2212</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 10:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:49am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:41am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:00pm<b>bre88</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:30pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:59pm<b>mad_mcdonald</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:13pm<b>sallysali9</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 5:06pm<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:30am<b>angelnursery</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:19am<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:02am<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:06pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:21am<b>xlasxtchanxce13</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:14pm

Fucked!<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:26am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm

clojo1112's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

by MTJY / 09/12/2011 at 12:53am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Kids

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

by monochrometea / 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML

by me / 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

by thismakesmesad / 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

by jag talar / 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous