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clojo1112

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clojo1112

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4232
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's page activity

Visits<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:37pm<b>sammiboo813</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:36am<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Gingerbreadman1</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:23pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Erlick</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:32pm<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:58am<b>potaetoe</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:51pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:32am<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:06am<b>xOhItsMarleyy</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:28pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:06pm<b>ninjakitten</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:48am<b>hare</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:26pm<b>Aurelian</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:43pm

clojo1112's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (3927)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (6213)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85228) - you deserved it (13073)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (7092)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (25481)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
580 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (235047)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

#17699997
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by monochrometea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML

#17691004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35752) - you deserved it (3448)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (6901)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (27379)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

#17682906
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (6405)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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