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clojo1112

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clojo1112
  • Town/Country : Tempe, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3684
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

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clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17168) - you deserved it (1455)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15075) - you deserved it (6743)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (1323)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

#759
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12983) - you deserved it (4325)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (4232)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (78083)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version



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