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clojo1112

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clojo1112
  • Town/Country : Tempe, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3707
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's last visitors

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clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45305) - you deserved it (7055)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

#17934010
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55849) - you deserved it (3551)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (5834)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (9554)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (5395)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7618) - you deserved it (30677)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (3607)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

#17910892
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by UglyApparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11352) - you deserved it (37034)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

#17896857
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (22001)

On 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (5143)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (8451)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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