clojo1112

Search for a member

clojo1112

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7699
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's page activity

Visits<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:41am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:00pm<b>bre88</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:30pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:59pm<b>mad_mcdonald</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:13pm<b>sallysali9</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 5:06pm<b>stormrunner987</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:30am<b>angelnursery</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:19am<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:02am<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:06pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:21am<b>xlasxtchanxce13</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:14pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:38pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:19pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:42am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:43pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:26am

Fucked!<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:26am<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm

clojo1112's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

by Mayabie / 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm / France / Work

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

by dust1535538 / 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

by Andrew / 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

by EFFFF / 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous