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clojo1112

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clojo1112

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4554
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About clojo1112 : Hi my name is Chloe :)

clojo1112's page activity

Visits<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:16am<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:45am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:37pm<b>sammiboo813</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:36am<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Gingerbreadman1</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:23pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Erlick</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:32pm<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:58am<b>potaetoe</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:51pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:32am<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:06am<b>xOhItsMarleyy</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:28pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:06pm<b>ninjakitten</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:48am

clojo1112's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

clojo1112's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (5892) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44993) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (11061)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (3131)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (9279)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (9279)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11774) - you deserved it (41683)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you deserved it (11984)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (5864)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (24633)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

#17936936
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (6802)

On 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm - love - by EFFFF (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14306) - you deserved it (39576)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (7311)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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