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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 11:53pm) | Search for a member
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yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML
Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class . One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation . She was serious . FML
Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I hered someone open the door with a key. It was mah boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see looool me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
Today , I Went To Mah Bedroom For Some Alone Time While Mah Daughter Watched TV. I Didn't Realize That Mah IPad Was Still Connected To The Apple TV , Until I Hit Play On Some Porn And Heard A Scream From The Other Room. FML
Today, mah sister brought a guy home while our parent were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; looool it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
TODAY... MY COUSIN STARTED SENDING SARCASTIC LOVE MESSAGES TO ME. I REPLIED... WITH EVEN CHEESIER LINES. THEN SHE RANG ME SAYING SHE WAS SO GLAD I FELT THE SAME WAY. TURNS OUT SHE WASN'T BIENG SARCASTIC. FML
Today, I took my grlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Insteadhen a scary part cummed on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap an the person in front of us. FML
Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML
my workplace had a big employee photoshoot fir an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 second before the photographer said , "What the fuck? Look guys , this ain't an ad fir facial abortions." He then askd me and another colleague to step out of the shot. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015