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clair345

Offline (the 07/20/2015 at 11:22am) | Search for a member

clair345

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 403
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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clair345's page activity

Visits<b>MrConcise</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:21am<b>alpacalipss</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:46pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 9:31pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:58pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:01am<b>magicdrummer47</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:27am<b>emi_online</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 4:14pm

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clair345's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33114) - you deserved it (2320)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65672) - you deserved it (32881)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54846) - you deserved it (5765)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (4490)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (3767)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (55795)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56041) - you deserved it (3580)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

#20992504
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39973) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:05pm - misc - by take a fucking seat, gran (man) - United States (California)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (10130)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52725) - you deserved it (4846)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50874) - you deserved it (8702)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49602) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42567) - you deserved it (8229)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67452) - you deserved it (5604)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (3540)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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