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chupachup79's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
chupachup79's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy
by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by eaa145 / 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, My mom invited me on a family outing. Since I wasn't busy until the evening, I excitedly got… Today, while brushing my teeth I felt something snap and spat out a huge tooth fragment. Only after… Today, I was woken up at 1am with a migraine, by my husband who drunkenly called to ask if I'd like…