About chunkofchange : i'm jade
i like soccer and socks
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (16920)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (7014)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:48am - health - by barbie (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (3146)
On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45971) - you deserved it (8250)
On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (12087)
On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (3082)
On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (5201)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (1918)
On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51802) - you deserved it (4402)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (87236)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67422) - you deserved it (3333)
On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (76693)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56931) - you deserved it (3557)
On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12066) - you deserved it (71428)
On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (53414)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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