chrisisadinosaur

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Offline (the 02/11/2014 at 8:08pm)

chrisisadinosaur

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 July 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About chrisisadinosaur : I am the Boy with the Brownies. I like writing, acting, HP and The Hunger Games. Oh, and I'm also a dinosaur. And I race hovercrafts *see picture*! :D :3

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chrisisadinosaur's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

by ... / 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

by Jake / 10/02/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

by liveviathetredmill / 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 2:29am / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

by anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

by DuhSteven / 06/06/2012 at 1:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy