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Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33450)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (3161)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10467) - you deserved it (19234)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (21677)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13541) - you deserved it (5155)
On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (22697)
On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11477) - you deserved it (23103)
On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (4579)
On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (5723)
On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (41414)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (3044)
On 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm - animals - by buttpicker - United States
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5103)
On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5103)
On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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