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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1436
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 27 posted

About chocolateisyum : Hi everyone :) I'm Eila and I like music, photography and animals. I have a cat :D

chocolateisyum's page activity

Visits<b>devinthomas</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 10:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:14am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:03am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:20am<b>beccyvonritter</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:35am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:52pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:09pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:44am<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 5:41pm<b>citytown</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:27pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 10:18am<b>weirdness4eva</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 7:07pm<b>jake6365</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:05pm<b>rapsac200</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 3:10am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 8:40am<b>JC333221</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:10am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 11:10pm

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chocolateisyum's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

by Steve / 12/16/2012 at 1:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Animals

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 11:29am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

by bluesox4 / 02/06/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

by Lotje13 / 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

by chocolateisyum / 10/09/2011 at 7:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

by Victim / 06/27/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids