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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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chloelovestoswim

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chloelovestoswim
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 April 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1069
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About chloelovestoswim : Love competitive swimming, my boyfriend Michael, playing guitar and violin. I live in michigan (:

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chloelovestoswim's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

#13083024 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (27687)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

#13056738 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (19122) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:15am - love - by badtiming (woman) - United States

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

#9011499 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (16556) - you deserved it (7905)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856 (505)

I agree, your life sucks (7330) - you deserved it (21643)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (3880)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1768)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479 (418)

I agree, your life sucks (2699) - you deserved it (38431)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

#8132975 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (15611) - you deserved it (5570)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm - misc - by HellaBomber91 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (21733)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (41144)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2754)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)