chimpsndip

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chimpsndip

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1312
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About chimpsndip : I kill panda bears and sell their fingers for drug money. Jersey guy.

chimpsndip's page activity

Visits<b>Rei_Ayanami</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 3:17pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:40pm<b>SychoticFML</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Bamill</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:04pm<b>elijahisaboss</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:24pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:10pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:01pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>CRAZYCOW777</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:51pm<b>tg1tg1</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:11am<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:57pm<b>SillySweetGirl</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:01pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:08pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:28pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:58am<b>vb68</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:13pm

chimpsndip's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

chimpsndip's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

by lynn777 / 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

by scratchpost / 10/28/2010 at 8:07am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy