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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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chikiitaaa

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chikiitaaa
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 February 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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chikiitaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (22685)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (6136)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (5532) - you deserved it (22018)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that we needed to talk, he then told me that he cheated on me with my brother several times, but that it was a mistake, he is in fact not gay, just experimenting, and that we should still stay together. My boyfriend is 26, and my brother has a wife. FML

#7631365 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (1725)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - love - by disgusted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)