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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/10/2010 at 8:03am - money - by Ecce (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at work using a wood finishing product that we apply by hand. After 2 straight days of using it I finally read the label. It said "This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer". Good thing nobody told me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14551) - you deserved it (8931)
On 03/03/2010 at 5:49am - work - by painter - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (4148)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (2727)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (3959)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)
Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6668) - you deserved it (18500)
On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (30014)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version
Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8050) - you deserved it (13180)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12407) - you deserved it (3452)
On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (2521)
On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (3812)
On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11479) - you deserved it (26783)
On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (3623)
On 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm - love - by CombatShadow45 - United States (Florida)
Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I randomly gazed over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (2414)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:00am - work - by Yapanesedidwhat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (2090)
On 11/08/2009 at 5:36am - love - by SkySkyChan (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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