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checkacheez's FML badges
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checkacheez's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML
by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by proudparent / 12/07/2009 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Jen / 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
by Starchyld / 11/11/2009 at 7:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
by Abby / 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card…