chasity_baker

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Offline (the 06/16/2016 at 5:52pm)

chasity_baker

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  • Number of visits : 2257
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chasity_baker's page activity

Visits<b>th4m4ster</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:11am

chasity_baker's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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chasity_baker's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

by ugly duckling / 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

by nerderer / 03/15/2015 at 10:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

by jking2z / 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

by misfitunfit / 03/12/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

by SkottLong / 03/10/2015 at 2:19am / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

by uglyshoegirl / 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous