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chashem

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chashem
  • Town/Country : methuen, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About chashem : Will work for money. There are no jobs to small. But there are jobs to big.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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chashem's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (4729)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44192) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (16879)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst into hysterical laughter behind me. FML

#20817313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47821) - you deserved it (8096)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43306) - you deserved it (14340)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (9089)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49064) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (6065)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (6836)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (13409)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

#20786957
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52754) - you deserved it (7490)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (11923)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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