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Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (3406)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (2117)
On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (1657)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria
Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (4012)
On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47350) - you deserved it (6503)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (3254)
On 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm - animals - by tracie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (9283)
On 09/20/2010 at 3:10am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (4233)
On 09/17/2010 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by embarrassedhubby - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57432) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (6279)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5103)
On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5472) - you deserved it (17717)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7298) - you deserved it (22408)
On 12/20/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (2566)
On 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm - misc - by samgonzalessb - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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