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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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cassie13091's favorite FMLs
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML
by William Johnson / 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/09/2013 at 2:02am / Israel / Miscellaneous
by heya / 12/24/2012 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
by chunderful202 / 12/24/2012 at 3:46am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy… Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable,… Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she…