Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cassideejean

Search for a member

cassideejean

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cassideejean : My names Cassidee(: My favorite color is lime green. I play volleyball.. School and club. I play guitar and sing(x I love horses and wish to own one someday

cassideejean's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of cassideejean's badges

cassideejean's favorite FMLs

Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML

Yesterday, I turned 35 !! Because I'm still single, mah sister bought me a cat to help start mah "inevitable collection." mega FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (5927)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home 4 his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

#20623837
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (5859)

On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , things got pretty steamy between boyfriend an me. We started doing stuff that niether of us had tried before. Then , he straddled me with a raging erection an boomed , "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (9330)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today... I Was Denounced For Bieng A Terrible Person... Because Mah Family Raises Chickens... Some Of Which We Eat. I Was Then Told How Cruel I Am For "killing Innocent Birds" And That "good" People Buy There Meat From The Supermarket. FML

#20623167
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a werd boob dance an middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41102) - you deserved it (14225)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , mah sister went into a blind rage at me 4 "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant , two months after she did the same . My husband and I have been trying 4 two years . She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is . FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69474) - you deserved it (3376)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I Forgot To Log Out Of Mah Facebook Account Before Leaving Fir Work. When I Got Back Home, I Discovered That Mah Brother Had Gone Through And Commented ( Quack ) On All Mah Friend's Duckfacing Photos. She Was Not Pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (44999)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Yesterday, I uploadd a cute photo of mah boyfriend an me on Facebook. Ten minute later, his friend commentd: ( Dude! You're supposd to capture the Snorlax, not date it! ) FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (13782)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Taday I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé . He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today,hilst texting mah boyfriend on the train , I noticd the woman sitting next to me staring intently at mah phone . After letting mah boyfriend know , he sent a message saying , "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gaspd and screamd that I'm a "twistd dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I kissed mah gorgeous new boyfriend 4 the first time. I ran mah hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out an five lice crawled onto mah hand. fat FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (6609)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: