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cartedor

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cartedor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2495
  • Number of comments : 258
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cartedor's page activity

Visits<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Ashfal</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:13pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>timtamslam</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:41am<b>xCommander</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:47am<b>zhaterminatah</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Msawsome</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:31am<b>keyten1</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:02pm<b>turkturkington</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:28am

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (2800)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48252) - you deserved it (14394)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (3822)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9697) - you deserved it (64962)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (10998)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (2415)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (4930)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (5221)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (7462)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (15685)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (4757)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (8297)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

#20536715
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39596) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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