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cartedor

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cartedor
  • Town/Country : London, UK
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1537
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cartedor's FML badges

Socialite

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (46070)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (3676)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (34254)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

#10823884
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8232) - you deserved it (25605)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (3439)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

#10546987
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (3285)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm - love - by schwange (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (8470)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (2511)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5701) - you deserved it (17396)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5701) - you deserved it (17396)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

#8750988
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (5627)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm - money - by sdauner - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (30774)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML



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