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cartedor

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cartedor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2453
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Ashfal</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:13pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>timtamslam</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:41am<b>xCommander</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:47am<b>zhaterminatah</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Msawsome</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:31am<b>keyten1</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:02pm<b>turkturkington</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:28am

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (3827)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12143) - you deserved it (44605)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

#13165960
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (14701)

On 09/23/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by non believer - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (12311)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39351) - you deserved it (4937)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (17404)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

#12123688
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (7858)

On 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm - health - by Andiii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (49103)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (3885)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (3115)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (44670)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

#10823884
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9739) - you deserved it (28617)

On 05/28/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by crazygirl10 - United States

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (3577)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

#10546987
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (3412)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:07pm - love - by schwange (man) - United States (New York)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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