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cartedor

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cartedor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2219
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Ashfal</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:13pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>timtamslam</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:41am<b>xCommander</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:47am<b>zhaterminatah</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Msawsome</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:31am<b>keyten1</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:02pm<b>turkturkington</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:28am

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (3402)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (2993) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43282) - you deserved it (6260)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (29130)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

#14499685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (5580)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

#14403939
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (6819)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:13am - misc - by brenami (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (5922)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (7342)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (19057)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

#14103618
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (2572)

On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (3417)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (21514)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (38415)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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