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Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (4760)
On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34801) - you deserved it (3000)
On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (2262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5317) - you deserved it (20478)
On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20153) - you deserved it (4303)
On 01/07/2011 at 6:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12897) - you deserved it (5190)
On 12/31/2010 at 1:13am - misc - by brenami (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15028) - you deserved it (4537)
On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (5642)
On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (14968)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (1922)
On 12/06/2010 at 2:20am - intimacy - by FreakinthePink -
Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (2549)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his Cubical. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2328)
On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (15980)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (33093)
On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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