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cartedor

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 8:52am) | Search for a member

cartedor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3286
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cartedor's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:32pm<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:10am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:36pm<b>lakeiishaa205</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:14pm<b>boredkidlulz</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:48pm<b>lazydaysss</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:57pm<b>McRxXxMcR</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:47pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mikester10723</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:10am<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Ashfal</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:13pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>timtamslam</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:41am<b>xCommander</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:47am<b>zhaterminatah</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Msawsome</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:31am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (7588)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2224)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (2340)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (1544)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11943) - you deserved it (33223)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (5495)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (5035)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (5931)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (2291)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)



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