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Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19290) - you deserved it (1257)
On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8781) - you deserved it (27024)
On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (1491)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (3800)
On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15595) - you deserved it (1562)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14138) - you deserved it (5099)
On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (1698)
On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (4375)
On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15233) - you deserved it (6728)
On 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HorcruxDelight73 - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (1756)
On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3615) - you deserved it (22885)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (4526)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom
Friday 24 May 2013
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