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Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15737) - you deserved it (1262)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1124)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States
Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7402) - you deserved it (22562)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (7097)
Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (2277)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22898) - you deserved it (2984)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (2218)
On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11623) - you deserved it (3284)
On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (3593)
On 01/05/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Pennepestoem (woman) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18461) - you deserved it (5347)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17328) - you deserved it (1191)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (6401)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (4756)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
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