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cartedor

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 10:59pm) | Search for a member

cartedor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2763
  • Number of comments : 278
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cartedor's page activity

Visits<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:10am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:36pm<b>lakeiishaa205</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:14pm<b>boredkidlulz</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:48pm<b>lazydaysss</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:57pm<b>McRxXxMcR</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:47pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mikester10723</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:10am<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Ashfal</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:13pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>timtamslam</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:41am<b>xCommander</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:47am<b>zhaterminatah</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:34pm<b>Msawsome</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:31am<b>keyten1</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:02pm

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cartedor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37618) - you deserved it (2625)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

#20453732
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (6981)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (6389)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (7545)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (3289)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (8770)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (5979)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38189) - you deserved it (5778)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (7152)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9715) - you deserved it (58464)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22599) - you deserved it (61768)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (4327)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (3496)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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