carrot4acookie

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carrot4acookie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About carrot4acookie : I'm not feeling creative today...try again tomorrow...

carrot4acookie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of carrot4acookie's badges

carrot4acookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

by espylone / 12/17/2011 at 10:42am / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work