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carroliinneee

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carroliinneee

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Today... I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece... I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was... "well... I'm either going to insult yur art or yur face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45196) - you deserved it (4506)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to mah boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall . I sat there 4 ten minutes before I realized I was listening to mah mom an her boyfriend having sex . mega FML

#20698016
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49386) - you deserved it (6099)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Yesterday, thanks to an looool idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never recieved so many dirty looks in life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (4193)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a ouse. My next-door neigbor said se's in love wit me, treatened ma grlfriend, and looool won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (3579)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that mah boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55800) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Taday I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke !! FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to ( ruin the moment ). FML

#20694473
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53678) - you deserved it (9015)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand . We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast . Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he cummed to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops . FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (9099)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today looool , in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner , mah boyfriend's ex-grlfriend showed up declaring her love 4 him !! They left together and I had to take the bus home !! FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58196) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I gave mah boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold ofhile I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51097) - you deserved it (5235)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Todayile Sopping Fir Dresses, I Found A Really Cute One Tat Fit Me Really Well, But Not At All In Te Breast Area. My Grandma Screamed ( Buy Er Some Titties! ) Everyone In Te Store Looked At Me. FML

#20693039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (4005)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today , parents yelld at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on test!! They took phone , unpluggd internet , and took car keys!! They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them , "It was out of 50"!! It actually was!! FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66121) - you deserved it (3590)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stair with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63523) - you deserved it (14455)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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