Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

carolinacortes

Search for a member

carolinacortes
  • Town/Country : Molalla, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 November 1998 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 72
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

carolinacortes's last visitors

Covenant74martinez121797Blue329thebestintheworlsktlzz14flupshtraesos91buckdharmaforest1wolfnmorris95

carolinacortes's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of carolinacortes's badges

carolinacortes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (4976)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (24944)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (11894)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (5541)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (5892)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (5055)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (1483)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (4299)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (13484)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2568)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14989) - you deserved it (452)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: