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carbontetra

Offline (the 01/18/2016 at 2:29pm) | Search for a member

carbontetra

0Fucked!

carbontetra
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About carbontetra : Robot with wires out my arms

carbontetra's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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carbontetra's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

#21500678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (1717)

On 12/06/2015 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

#21500213
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1595)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

#21500142
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (1512)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm - animals - by not twilight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

#21480714
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/16/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (13290)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (4595)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14761) - you deserved it (60468)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (36391)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (9349)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (16669)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30659) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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