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About caraphernelia : spacely.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (51128)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (5034)
On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (6743)
On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (2423)
On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (3304)
On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (14422)
On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (4323) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (4736)
On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16324) - you deserved it (2194)
On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (3537)
On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (6131)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (2300)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57369) - you deserved it (5790)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (7097)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (1676)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
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