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car909's FML badges
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car909's favorite FMLs
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
by anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Love
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
by marsbar / 03/15/2009 at 1:07am / United States (New York) / Love
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- Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do… Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up… Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera.…