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captenawesome

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captenawesome

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2087
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About captenawesome : Although I don't enjoy most people's company, I enjoy their misfortunes.

captenawesome's page activity

Visits<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:20am<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:09pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:50pm<b>koolboi69</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:07pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:14pm<b>stevieman99</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:39pm<b>haleymak_</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:17am<b>pharm121</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Thisisascam</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:59pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:09am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:08am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:35pm<b>guitarki</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:52pm<b>imagineit</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:29pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:41am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:20pm

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:20am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:07am<b>pharm121</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:09am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:20pm<b>carrela</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:22am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:09pm

captenawesome's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of captenawesome's badges

captenawesome's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (2093)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (2551)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (2838)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (3369)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (4516)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32164) - you deserved it (7694)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41897) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (6854)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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