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canybean

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canybean

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

canybean's page activity

Visits<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 7:16pm

canybean's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (9869)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (10214)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11858) - you deserved it (27422)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9033) - you deserved it (58791)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (5181)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11725) - you deserved it (49698)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (12874)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (5278)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (50290)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (5278)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (41679)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (6577)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3604)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3604)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3604)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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