About Canybean
I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.
Canybean - Followers
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Canybean's FML badges
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    11%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    9%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    40%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    51%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    46%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 8 May 2013 06:59 / United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

By SkeetinKeaton - / Monday 6 May 2013 06:29 / United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

By emasculated 10000% - / Saturday 4 May 2013 17:05 / Sweden - Ljungby

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 9 April 2013 18:01 / United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

By dancekat - / Monday 8 April 2013 09:17 / United States - Puyallup