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canybean

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canybean
  • Town/Country : NYC, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 808
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

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canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (40216)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (11960)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (3642)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7454) - you deserved it (45822)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

#14892103
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you deserved it (25878)

On 02/08/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Shane -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14184) - you deserved it (51444)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (8265)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (7386)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (7386)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

#14782840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (5925)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by f -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you deserved it (47324)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -



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