canybean

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Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 9:51pm)

canybean

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3686
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

canybean's page activity

Visits<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 7:16pm

canybean's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of canybean's badges

canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

by Smokey9 / 07/25/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work