Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

canybean

Search for a member

canybean
  • Town/Country : NYC, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

canybean's last visitors

PenguinBitch

canybean's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of canybean's badges

canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (3994)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (51548)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (3556)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46955) - you deserved it (7164)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (41198)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (41198)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (4789)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (2308)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (4461)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (6842)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (3202)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (9388)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (6046)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (2545)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: