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canybean

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canybean

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

canybean's page activity

Visits<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 7:16pm

canybean's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband an I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment nieghbor yelled through the wall, "Do wat you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (40172)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

YESTERDAY... SANTA RAN OVER MAH FOOT WITH A SEGWAY.

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (2709)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, mah boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, before mah girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (15822)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah daughter-in-law taught mah 4-year-old grandson to burst into teres an yell, ( Am I good enough for you? ) whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13489) - you deserved it (59013)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY , DAUGTER ASKD ME OW TO SPELL "ORANGE". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I REPLID. WITOUT MISSING A BEAT , SE SAYS "NO , I MEAN TE COLOUR , NOT TE FRUIT." SE IS 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (7203)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday , somebody ordered pizza and sent it to te ouse across te street from tem , so tey could soot at te pizza guy wit an air-soft gun from te upstairs of tere ouse. I was tat delivery guy. mega FML

#17973373
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (1924)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today , mah daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her fir weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said , "I poop." fat FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (11510)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today , I decided to get back into shape. I went fir a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me fir myhole jog , mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (3826)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TODAY, I HEARD ON A TV SHOW THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO FIT A STANDARD LIGHT-BULB IN YUR MOUTH, BUT IT CAN'T BE REMOVED AFTERWARDS. I JUST HAD TO TRY THIS OUT. AND THEN VISIT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL TO GET IT REMOVED. FML

#17695095
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8097) - you deserved it (61836)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

TODAY, MY HOUSE GOT WATERMELOND. NOT EGGD, WATERMELOND. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Taday mah car was broken into and they stole all mah CDs but left mah daughter's Black Eyd Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissd about the theft but almost glad to see that the delinquent in mah town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (4094)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)



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