About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.
canybean's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
canybean's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work
by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…