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canybean

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canybean

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About canybean : I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

canybean's page activity

Visits<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 7:16pm

canybean's FML badges

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canybean's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14600) - you deserved it (39170)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (2558)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (15518)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12511) - you deserved it (56784)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (7064)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (4128)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (11467)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (3782)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (60075)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (3895)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)



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