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cannonfodder's favorite FMLs
Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML
by crookedteeth / 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by not-that-fat / 07/27/2009 at 9:49am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by internetadvice / 04/01/2009 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
by 1234567898765432 / 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy