About cannonfodder : Im awesome
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32928) - you deserved it (2286)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (2041)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (1830)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (1716)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (2188)
On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (2121)
On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (3001)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (2081)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (3722)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2550)
On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2090)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (2236)
On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (4555)
On 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Jenna - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (6025)
Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (2999)
On 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Pimp53X (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
