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cannonfodder

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cannonfodder

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About cannonfodder : Im awesome

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cannonfodder's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (2743)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

#19343817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (2484)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (3285)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (3512)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2350)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55179) - you deserved it (4241)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (2449)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

#16913093
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (5032)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Jenna - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52216) - you deserved it (7861)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML



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