candiicane

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/02/2015 at 6:14pm)

candiicane

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1979
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

candiicane's page activity

Visits<b>apple97</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:36pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:34am<b>newthoughts_</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 7:21pm<b>bs252</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:43am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:02am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:25am<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:13pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:23am<b>TheSalty</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:39am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:30pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:28am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:15am<b>Alup132</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:34am<b>SubparAtBest</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Runningblind924</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:48pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:54am

Fucked!<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:34am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Runningblind924</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:25am<b>smokeduck115</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:41am<b>imkool136</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:41pm<b>TheAnon1313</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:39am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:00am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:52pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:31am

candiicane's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of candiicane's badges

candiicane's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

by jingle / 05/25/2012 at 7:18am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

by Beth / 04/13/2012 at 10:12am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me until I heard, "Honey, what did you make me for dinner?" FML

by greenintheface / 04/30/2011 at 2:27am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

by ...thanks honey / 08/18/2010 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

by boredatwork / 01/29/2010 at 10:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love