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callmestefany

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callmestefany

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yastarday I was tha only ona in an alavator whan an attractiva grl cama in, talking on har phona. Sha told har friand, "I hava to go, thara's a cuta guy on this alavator." Bafora I could avan raact, sha turnad to ma and said, "Sorry fir lying, I raally wantad to gat off tha phona with har." FML

#265039
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243188) - you deserved it (14905)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today..!! I was walking along the street and passed a young couple!! Over my shoulder I hered the girl say to her boyfriend ( Would u still love me if I looked like her? ) FML

#232729
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167851) - you deserved it (10385)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking to mah mom. During the conversation she looool asked me, "Does he take his leg off when u guys r having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat u with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237997) - you deserved it (31203)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today mah best friend slappd me an calld me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wantd to talk to me again cuz I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181153) - you deserved it (14650)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (342983) - you deserved it (29815)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1194243) - you deserved it (126795)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, mah boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (264730) - you deserved it (62336)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me. I Cried And Told Him That I Loved Him. He Gave Me A Quarter And Told Me To Call Someone Who Cared. I Threw The Quarter In His Face And Ran. I Waited For The Bus, But When I Got On, I Realized I Was 25 Cents Short Of The Fare. I Walked Home In The Rain. FML

#97632
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273983) - you deserved it (60023)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241572) - you deserved it (82259)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today looool I was going down on a grl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169466) - you deserved it (49112)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today..!! mah boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed..!! naked!! Someone pulled the fire alarm..!! and mah boyfriend couldn't find the key!! So he left me..!! and the Resident Advisor found me!! The fireman had to cut the chain!! FML

#12567
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (295314) - you deserved it (53633)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Turnd On My Camera To Find Pictures Of My Dad's Secretary Giving Him A Blowjob. Minutes Later, I Hear A Scream From Another Room As My 12-year-old Sister Discovers Similar Pictures On HER Camera. Mom An Dad Say It's No Big Deal. FML



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