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callmestefany

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callmestefany

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callmestefany's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244381) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (347240) - you deserved it (32385)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

#402387
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181577) - you deserved it (9126)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201538) - you deserved it (16864)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176984) - you deserved it (34523)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398251) - you deserved it (89910)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

#365324
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195827) - you deserved it (27555)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183072) - you deserved it (28628)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213871) - you deserved it (35220)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (509245) - you deserved it (35141)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171575) - you deserved it (21456)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266463) - you deserved it (48400)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States



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